Although many think of it as a “Hallmark Holiday,” I have always viewed Valentine’s Day as a way to celebrate family, friends, and relationships. Afterall, my maiden name is Valentine, and I became a Marriage and Family Therapist. I love relationships and celebrating them. Both personally and professionally, I have experienced the power of relational healing, so I want to help others find that support and connection.
For many people, especially in eating disorder recovery, relationships are not as easy to celebrate. You can feel isolated, misunderstood, hurt, frustrated, and ashamed. Family members can feel angry, sad, or just plain stuck. It’s scary to reach out for fear of being rejected, hurt, or dismissed. So, eating disorders can come about as an attempt to cope or shield from pain, but they also block true support and connection.
At Embodied Counseling, relational healing is key. Your relationship with food, your body, and yourself as well as your relationships with your family and other loved ones deserve care and support.
One way to start healing relational experiences is the practice of Loving Kindness Meditation. Repeating the same set of phrases (a “Metta script”) of well wishes to yourself and others, you can start to increase compassion, understanding, and good-will.
Loving-Kindness (Metta) Meditation
Get in a comfortable position and start to notice the rhythm of your breath. When it becomes calm and consistent, put your hand on your heart to connect to yourself and repeat these phrases (or create some that fit better for you):
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I be safe
May I live with ease
Next, visualize in your mind a loved one that is easy to love: a best friend, beloved partner, devoted pet, etc. and send them the phrases:
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be safe
May you live with ease
Now, imagine someone like an acquaintance or someone seen in passing that brings up neutral feelings and send them the well wishes:
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be safe
May you live with ease
Then, think of someone with whom you’ve had a minor conflict, and the interactions have caused difficult feelings for you. If it’s too raw, shift to a person that you don’t know personally and offer them the phrases:
May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be safe
May you live with ease
Finally, expand to your community, your country, and/or the world and repeat the phrases
May we be happy
May we be healthy
May we be safe
May we live with ease
Continue breathing and feeling the love, compassion, and generosity within and around. When you are ready, open your eyes.
A Whole Recovery Treatment Team Under One Roof
Eating Disorders affect both the body and mind and require wrap around holistic care. We’re here to make that easier to manage. We can coordinate care for you, and provide a comprehensive treatment plan, with all the team members under one roof.